I haven’t been very inspired lately. I hope it’s just one of the phases that’ll come and go but so far I don’t think I’m free from it yet. I’ve also been in a bit of a dilemma and trying to figure out what it is that I really want to do. I’m starting to realise something I’d hate to admit, but sometimes it’s just hard keeping it in.
I’ve been thinking about the future of MoonSticks, my weekly Sailor Moon comic strips. I don’t talk about it much on my blog, but I spend a lot of time and effort on the website and on every comic. I love to do it because it makes me happy and knowing others are enjoying them as much as I do gives me a lot of satisfaction.
Usually every few months or so I go on a little break from it to have a bit of a breather, but lately I’m just really tired. I don’t feel like making comics anymore. Am I being selfish? I feel horrible for thinking this because I knowÂ people enjoy them, who follow week after week anticipating for the next. Every comment and message left for me makes me feel all warm & fuzzy inside. I really do appreciate everything fans have given me, and this includes a sense of achievement and belonging. I’ve also met some really wonderful people who are always encouraging and supportive. If I suddenly stopped making comic strips, it would feel like I’ve betrayed them.
I guess it’s hard because I never thought MoonSticks would turn out this popular. When I created MoonSticks a year ago, it was like a silly random idea that came out of no-where and I didn’t know where this was heading, or how long it would last. I didn’t even ask these questions, but now I’m always fearing the day when MoonSticks “ends”. I’m so torn between doing it for the fans, or doing it for myself. I used to laugh at every comic, but lately I can’t even make myself laugh. It’s sad to think that one day MoonSticks will probably lose everything it has gained, but that’s part of life I guess? I still love Sailor Moon very much and I do love MoonSticks- I just don’t know how much longer it can go…
Or maybe I’m making too much of a deal out of this. I don’t know. I don’t know what to do yet I don’t want other people telling me what to do. If people say they want me to continue, I’m worried I’ll fail and disappoint them. If people say I should stop, I don’t know if I can really let go.
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